As I was growing up I remember being afraid of doctor and nurses. I use to hate going to the doctors I’m pretty sure most children were afraid too. I remember so clearly that when the doctor had to give a shot I wouldn’t let myself. I would start crying and start moving around. The nurses would hold me down and the doctor would give me a shot and after that I would be so mad with my mom for letting them give me a shot. The way I would act I can relate to “Mary Ainsworth”, to her Ambivalent Attachment Pattern, is a style of attachment in which children display a combination of positive and negative reaction to their mothers: they show great distress when the mother leaves, but upon her return they may simultaneously seek close contact but also hit her or kick her (Development Across the Life Span, R.S.P, 2011). As soon as my mom would try to get close to me I would hit her n be so angry with her. I didn’t stop being afraid of them until I was about 7 years old.
At the age 6 going on 7, I remember playing doctor with my cousins. I was a little more comfortable but still a little afraid. I never wanted to be the patient. I always prefer being the doctor or nurse. When playing doctor we all had a role and we all got along with each other. I can relate this to “cooperative play; play in which children genuinely interact with one another, taking turns playing, or devising contests (Development Across the Life Span,2011). I use to like to play this with my cousins. It was one on my favorite childhood games.
In the sixth grade, I remember my teacher asking us what we wanted to be when we grow up as other students started answering. I started to think about it n I had no clue. I was very nervous because it was getting close to being my turn to answer the question. I didn’t know what to say, so before it was my turn one of my friends said that she wanted to be a teacher. So after my friend the teacher asked me, “So Erica what would u like to be when you grow up”, and I replied “Well I want to become a teacher like you”. But in reality that wasn’t true I was just afraid at that age to say that I didn’t know yet. I was sad that day because I kept thinking about what I wanted to become and nothing came to mind I was just so undecided and I kept thinking what if I never figure out what I want to be. By the end of that week it didn’t cross my head anymore.
As time flew by I didn’t think about it anymore until I started high school which was ninth grade. In the ninth grade since it was all about being popular and being cool, I wanted to be a fashion designer. So being a fashion designer was in my mind. I remember my parents asking me what I wanted to be and I told them I wanted to be a fashion designer and they were upset they were saying that it wasn’t a real career. When they told me it wasn’t a real career I was being ignorant about it. I starting researching about it I started to notice a couple of things about it. I started to ask myself what if I don’t get a job in this career and it was so competitive. So then I was back to undecided. At the end of the ninth graded I took this test that determined careers that fitted me. When I finished taking that test it gave me a list of choices so I picked 3 that I liked and they were a detective, a dentist, and a nurse. My first choice was a detective I really like all that mystery and problem solving.
So in the tenth grade I was into all the types’ of shows that had to do with criminal justice. I found that very interesting and fun. I remember my sister going to nursing school for a vocational nurse, but I never mind her or asked her anything about it. She was always studying and was always at school. She was so busy with it that I hardly even got to see her. When I was in the eleventh grade I remember she graduated from vocational nursing program, we were all proud of her. After she graduated I remember seeing her studying more and more and I asked her, “Why are you still studying didn’t you graduate already?” and she said, “I need to passed my boards exam in order to earn my license.” After she took her test a couple of weeks passed and she received a letter on the mail and it was her license. I remember the joy n happiness in her face.
That summer I remember I would go with her to her job, she used to do home visits. The first day I went I was observing everything as the moment we walked in there she was very nice to the patient like if he was family. I remember she asked the patient if it was okay if I watched the wound care and he said yes. I was a bit scared I really didn’t want to watch but I did it anyways. When my sister removed the old dressing I was grossed out but managed to keep a straight face. When we left I asked my sister how was she able to do and that I don’t think I would be able to do that. So then my sister started to explain to me how much she loved nursing. I was amazed in how she expressed herself towards nursing. So since that day it opened my eyes. I decided to go with my sister to her home visits every other day or whenever I was able too. I started realizing that I was growing this passion for it and was becoming more interesting in nursing. I was very curious in the nursing career and I was just repeatedly asking my sister questions about it.
I started to grow this huge love towards nursing the way you are able to care for a patient and give them comfort and help them in any way you could. I saw it as a super hero being there care for them as much as possible. So at that moment I decided I wanted to be a nurse. I thank my sister for giving me the experience she gave me. Because of her I had finally decided what I wanted my career to be. I also learned that it I okay if u are undecided and don’t know want u want to become. I believe there is a moment when you will realize what u want to become, and now I follow me sisters foot prints and will succeed in becoming a nurse just like her.